Blackdogs
Dark times in my mind
Writing about depression is hard. Having it is much harder.
Being 64, it wasn’t cool for men to talk about their feelings when I was growing up. It’s only starting to become acceptable. The past few weeks, I descended into a dark place, dark enough to think about ending it. Luckily, the NHS send out some clinicians and took it seriously. I’m in the system, now and will get help. Probably a change in my antidepressant. I’m pretty sure my mental health issues come from genetics and my upbringing as never really having roots. My mother, her sister and my brother all have had mental health issues. I know for years, I self-medicated as did many men, especially.
When it hits, I feel like a failure. Thanks to my brother, and the NHS. I’m hoping to get out of this.
Here’s Scouser Paddy Pimblett with some good advice. I wish I could have heard this when I was a teenager. There is help for us, it doesn’t make us more manly to ignore our mental health.
Paul, that's brave and wise of you. As you know, even Churchill was prone to depression, and gave us this name for it. Have you heard about Andy's Man Club? Worth checking out, and a good sign that blokes are realizing that manliness doesn't mean silence. Add me to the list of those who are glad you're here. Every drop of human happiness we give to others is what we should be most proud of, and overconfident people are gits anyway. Oh, yeah, and bless the NHS for coming to your side!